Fathers journal - Lessons for Life, Work & Fatherhood
Fathers journal - Lessons for Life, Work & Fatherhood
Winging it, Imposter syndrome & calling your own bluff
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Winging it, Imposter syndrome & calling your own bluff

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Whenever I think about the early days of starting The Glitch I’m reminded of how little we knew and how much we claimed we did and ended up winging it ( I’d be lying if I said winging it wasn’t a constant feature in my life even now). This isn’t just an entrepreneur thing, it's how most of us navigate our careers.. in a constant state of “overstating our knowledge and experience” and “stitching a parachute while you’ve jumped off a cliff”.

Now, I do know that this has been glorified to a large extent by many but what we don't talk about enough is the level of anxiety and mental strain it drives into us as people because of a constant worry of being called out for being a “fraud” or “imposter”. And so in flutters “Imposter syndrome” constantly whispering at the back of our minds ... and in doing so driving a sense of fear and insecurity leading to us swinging away from risks and doing the exact opposite of our “you’ve gotta run before you can walk” mindset.

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I went through that for a large part of my teens and my early and mid 20’s (it does occasionally come back from time to time even now), I was always unsure, worried that I would just fall flat on my face and someone would turn around and tell Me... I wasn’t who I claimed to be.

👉🏽👈🏽

But that changed when I learnt that I could flip this around and make it the biggest driving force in my life. What if this very feeling of being an imposter could become your own personal superpower.? It requires some reflection, some rewiring and using another framework for your life. ( i think im going use that line a lot more)

Let me explain,

First, let’s start by making a list... what are the things that u believe are the things that you tell the world u know a lot about or can do effectively that you actually/ truthfully can’t. Let’s call this your Fraud list!! And don’t just write the thing... write the sentence

“ I’m actually very bad at managing teams & being structured in any form” ( yep, that’s one of mine... feels satisfying to put it down doesn’t it?)

Then think about all the questions you have about each of these things that you have wanted to ask but haven’t ( because u felt it would reveal you for the imposter you are ). List down the questions for each topic...

And here’s what u do with it.

· Read it.

· Read it again,...

· Learn to be honest with yourself that these are areas where u lack,...

· Always remember you can fool the world but not yourself!! You of all people can call your bluff!!!

Ok, now do the following:- Write down the things that u never worry about, the stuff you’re most confident of. The intersection of your fraud list and your confidence list is what can flip this around for you.

Look at both lists. And then the next time u are in a conversation remember this intersection,

· When it veers towards the fraud list. Focus on asking the right questions, let others answer and build on top of them. Surround yourself with smart people who you learn from constantly and can pose questions to.

· When it’s towards your Confidence list Sprinkle stuff from your fraud list. ( a fraud can become a confident only by actually learning)..so keep learning and use that slow process of learning, sprinkling and not avoiding to slowly move it towards confident.

· Always admit that you don’t know enough about something but still want to voice a POV. I remember one of my first ever meetings as an intern in MTV, I decided to voice my POV on a question while people more seasoned than I didn’t and when I was asked: “what do u know about this?” I said “ not enough but I do have a perspective” and that earned me some amount of brownie points... so make your ignorance your tool, not something you hide.

· And my personal favourite, state out loud that what you are voicing out loud could be a “stupid idea”, helps add some cushion to falling on your face.

And always go back to the lists. Always focus on the questions around your fraud list. Ask them.. and most importantly never let your mind fool itself because, in reality, it can’t. You know what u know and what you don’t.

So let the lists guide you to the flip.

✌🏽

p:s - pardon the quality of the illustrations, not my strong suite.

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