1-1-1: Lasting Happiness, Peak Performance & Time Management
"My goal is to…."
"Once I ….. I will feel true happiness. "
"The day I achieve…. It will be the best day of my life. "
We all say or think these things throughout our lives. It's our innate sense of telling ourselves that we will feel true happiness once we achieve something or reach a specific goal. But, do we? Because, let's be honest, we all feel that rush at the moment, but in most cases, it doesn't last or never feels as large as we assumed it would be in the long term. In the book "The practise of groundedness", Brad Stulberg talks about the "Arrival fallacy" phenomenon.
"Harvard psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, who coined the term "arrival fallacy," says, "We live under the illusion—well, the false hope—that once we make it, then we'll be happy." But when we do make it, when we finally "arrive," he says, we may feel a temporary blip of happiness, but that feeling doesn't last. And this is to say nothing of all the times we don't make it when we suffer the inevitable setbacks that life brings. Ben-Shahar says that if the cycle of seeking happiness outside ourselves and failing to find it repeats enough, eventually, we lose hope. "
No singular achievement can drive that sense of lasting happiness or accomplishment. Needing and wanting more can never give you true satisfaction. So while It is important to have a goal, to have something to work towards.. that is not the only means to your life, happiness and satisfaction.
Studies have shown that happiness is reality minus expectations. Suppose we learn to be truly present in our present. Find the internal strength & self-confidence that drives us through all the highs and lows of life. That sense of groundedness will drive lasting happiness.
Many of us dream of achieving peak human performance and try different methods. American author Stephen Kotler has a 4-stage process through which we can actually achieve it. Tune in to this classic episode to find out how.
“The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” So begins Oliver Burkeman’s new book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. “Make it to 80, and you’ll get about 4,000 weeks. And so, as the poet asked, ‘What will you do with your one wild and precious life.’”
What an exciting start to a book! It forces you to face the fact, that our lifespan, as grandiose as it may feel in our head, is truly infinitesimally small. So, what do you do about it? Do you sit and worry about an invisible stopwatch or do you use that information to push yourself to make brave scary decisions?!
In this podcast by LinkedIn, The Next Big Idea, Malcolm Gladwell talks to Oliver Burkeman. They touched on so many different topics but one thing that stood out was what Oliver said about the mindset required by young athletes.
“The paradox of training is that you do not prepare for your best race by running as fast as you do in your best race. You prepare for your best race by doing something very, very different, by doing something sustainable, and relaxing, and joyful.”
A conversation you must not miss!
Always enjoy reading your newsletter. And the way you connect things, I always wonder where you collect things first (i mean, what’s your note-taking system like).