Love is…… ( plus weekly recommendations)

May 06, 2023

Love is a tricky thing.

We go looking for it in all the wrong places and read all the wrong theories of what it actually is. I blame many a movie for over-romanticizing the ‘happily ever after’ part of love. Over time, I have come to understand that it is actually at that point of ‘happily ever after’ that love truly begins.

I met my wife and the CEO of my life, Pooja, at a marketing conference. Chetan Bhagat (the bestselling author) was speaking, and I happened to spot Pooja as shespotted me. She gave me her visiting card in an extremely professional manner, and half an hour later, I asked her out for a drink (not too kosher a move in hindsight, but I thank my stars that I did). We met, we hung out, she went to America on holiday for a month, and we exchanged texts on WhatsApp constantly. All throughout, I was me (self-absorbed and clueless) and she was herself (clear-headed and mature). Her dog loved me (Tripp refused to stop humping my leg) and my friends called her my Everest (as in, I couldn’t do better). In a couple of months we were engaged, then married and living together. Happily ever after, right?

What if I told you that over the last (almost) ten years, every year has come with its challenges and evolutions. Moments that have strained our relationship and yet eventually brought us closer together, moments when we learnt about each other, opened up about our feelings, our fears, our quandaries and our vulnerabilities. Over time, we discovered how totruly be ourselves with each other, and learnt to not just accept how we were deep inside but embrace the inner child in us. We learnt to complete each other in every possible way, to be able to travel the world together, to be silent in a room together doing different things yet be able to glance at each other and immediately draw out a smile. That, my friends, is love. It’s a partnership built over time that’s like fine wine—it gets better with time. All you need to do is open yourself up to it and invest in it. If it responds to you in kind, then you can have no greater happiness than to be with that person holding your hand.

This piece by Mari Andrew perfectly illustrates the feeling that is love.

I don’t love you because you’re

the mythical ‘right person’.

I love you because there are,

Things I want for you,

Things I want with you,

Things I want because of you.

Mostly I just want to stand beside you and go from there.

The above is an excerpt from my book ““Everything is Out of Syllabus: An instruction manual for life & work” and feels apt to share a couple of days after our 10th wedding anniversary. All I can say beyond this is that the feeling has stayed the same and just grown with time and will for the years to come.

Recommendations

#1 Casey Neistat is someone I’ve long admired and this video is a testament for why. When Art meets Craft its just beautiful to watch and admire.

#2 This week we put together a compilation of responses to a single question from a range of guests on the podcast “what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?”