1-1-1: “Busy-ness”, Self-doubt, Owning your attention.
(plus something’s going back to the way it was)
" How do you do so much?"
If I had to pick a question I've been asked often, this would be in the top subset. And I do understand why. I push myself to do too many things and from an outside pov that seems aspirational, something to be admired and replicated or at least learnt from. But, while that's a question often asked, I do come down with a slightly different version of this question myself from time to time.
"Do I need to do so much?"
Let's face it.
Life gives us a constant feed of opportunities supported by a steady stream of FOMO. And as much as we might try, we can't escape it. Till we truly understand the value we create when we actually do.
The reason we often give in is preceded by a "What if..".
"What if this becomes an opportunity lost? "
"What if we fall behind ?"
"What if someone takes offence that I didn't ?"
and so on.
But before we answer any of those, maybe what we need to ask ourselves is one crucial question,
"What if this isn't essential to my growth as an individual?"
Many factors drive the need to be busy in our lives and minds. But more than anything, it feels like a safer option than saying no, to giving ourselves the space to have moments of possibly doing nothing. To risk being left behind and stagnating. But, amid all these apprehensions, we don't realise that focusing on a few will always drive more value in the long term than striving to do many. It's a lesson I need to remind myself of more often than most. Maybe you need to as well.
"We're all busy. We've all taken on too much. Saying yes, to less is the way out."
- Derek Sivers ( Anything you want)
( P:S- In the spirit of this weekend's post, I've decided to go back to making this newsletter weekly. To Focus on the quality of the content over spreading it too wide and risk being spammy ( which I sense this has become)! ✌🏽)
Do you feel self-doubt weighing heavy on your shoulders every time you do something outside your comfort zone? A big presentation, talking to your crush or just putting across your ideas can seem like a BIG deal when self-doubt handles the narrative.
Varun talks about a tried-and-tested technique that actually works in overcoming self-doubt.
We live busy lives. Our mind is running at 140 miles per hour all the time. We’re thinking about the past, present, and future. Additionally, we have so many distractions all around us – our phones, social media apps, our work emails, and our family. Our mind is probably far more overworked than we allow ourselves to believe.
Such was the case with Dr Amishi Jha, author of the New-York Times best-seller Peak Mind and a professor of psychology at the University of Miami. In conversation with Brené Brown for her podcast Dare to Lead, Amishi talks about how overwhelmed she was at one point in her life with everything that was going on. Her career, family, and research stressed her out so much that she couldn’t focus on anything. That’s when in a chance encounter, she attended a seminar by Richie Davidson where he spoke about meditation. That changed her life for the better.
This is such an interesting take on how the simple act of meditation and its scientific effects can have a profound impact on us and by extension, our lives.
The book four thousand weeks resonates with this stuff.